New York-scapades


We hit up NY to get away from the routine of life.  As we've been in the glorious city a few times, we decided to do the Tranny Hot Mess Tour on this visit.  Yes, I do mean that there were Trannies and thus oodles of gay men surrounding us throughout our adventures.  Without going into EVERY single detail, I will go through the high lights... think of it as Tranny Center instead of Sports Center.

-Got to do the walk of shame on the subway; alas from a gay man's apt, but she's still checking that one off her list.
-Sang for two hours straight at a karaoke bar- check!
-Got hand-me-down vintage from a friend.
-Fell over in a waist-deep wave, shame.
-Kissed a sparkling giant penis on the wall.

-Slept on a doorstep to the apt that she was locked out of.  "Hi Neighbors!"
-Bought Marc Jacobs purple amazingness.
-Had the best steak dinner ever!
-Watched in awe as two 70 year old men danced in their underwear to blasting David Guetta.

-Swapped phones so as not to be tempted to drunk text/dial.
-Went to gay Bingo, then saw a straight man from Wall St strip at the same bar.
-Danced all night at an underwear party with thongs on, at a gay bar, and STILL managed to get felt up.
-Walked 60 blocks consecutively and then had some straight (shocking) men buy them drinks.
-Went to Fire Island, the Cherry Grove side of existence, but avoided the meat rack.
-Drank every type of liquor possible in one night: beer, wine, cider, champagne, sambucca, jack daniels, vodka, jager, port... after that we lost count.
-Saw the wondrous Porsche in all her chanteuse glory.
-Ate at the most tickity tack cafe decorated with fezes and red lighting.
-Took the following types of transport in 4 days: Airplane, Train, Taxi, Subway, Car, Ferry, Speedboat
-Saw a tragic woman from Long Island in a magenta fringe bikini trying to start a conga line at a gay pool; apparently even that's too gay for Fire Island.

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