UnSmurfette and Clash Smurf

BARBARA

Any time you go to Vegas you're bound to return with millions of
stories. Some I'll take to the grave, but this one needs to be in a
stand-up comedy routine....
One of my fav smurfettes and I were staying at the Hard Rock in vegas,
and we decided to stop by the bar in the middle of the casino. We were
people watching, checking out the men, when all of a sudden we both
winced and said, "Oooooh girl!" We spotted the most embarrassing
outfit in the entire world. She looked like a lost soul, like she had
only 1 clean shirt and 1 clean skirt, so by default she was forced to
wear them together. It was a drapey, rouged pink skirt that went to
that awkward mid-calf length. I decided it was like the old red
theater curtains that fold up before the movie starts....but in a
dirty pink color. Her top was a plain khaki shirt with some glitter
design on the front. She also had the matching rouged gold clutch,
that just screamed Dollar Store. Oh, and she was wearing wicker flip
flops. She was certainly working it, prancing around the bar, feeling
confident. She wasn't showing enough skin to be a hooker, and she was
too coherant to be on drugs....she had no excuse to be wearing that!
As we often do, we were playing bar dare, and of course Smurfette
dared me to compliment one article of this fireworks spectacular
fantasmic fashion show. We take a seat next to her, and I say, "I love
that purse, it's so cute!" UnSmurfette says, "This piece of shit?" HA,
so we start chatting, drinking, getting to know one another.
Apparently she's waiting for her friend to get off work, but he's
taking a long time. We mutually entertain each other until he arrives.
We'll call him Clash Smurf because he loved my T-Shirt with The Clash
on it. He buys us a round of drinks, and all 4 of us chat for a bit.
Then we kindly give the 2 friends some space, and we chat amongst
ourselves. He can't get over my badass t-shirt, and he buys another
round for all 4 of us. We begin another group chat when all of a
sudden, UnSmurfette storms off. The 3 of us are shocked by the
tantrum....what the hell just happened? By this time we can see that
she is jealous of the attention he's giving us. We discover they were
more than friends at one time, and she's most likely still into him.
We talk about how she must have seen this as a date and he's leading
her on. Then thunder strikes me! I say, "Wait wait wait! So you're
telling me that she got dressed up for you tonight!? She must have
tried on six of seven outfits tonight to try to look good for you!!"
Well ok, about halfway through that I was on the ground crying, but I
did manage to get all those words out eventually. I hate to say it,
but I've never laughed so hard in my life! He didn't really get it,
but Smurfette and I were rolling.
On a side note, I still text Clash Smurf, he's hysterical. I find new
friends in the oddest places.